Black White And Shades Of Grey

Black and white are great colors to wear together. As much as I rail against wearing all black as a default, black and white elevate and compliment each other. 

All in all this is a very basic and inexpensive outfit. A white sweater dress via Goodwill, a black faux fur jacket deeply discounted from Stitch Fix and black boots from DSW. The star is the Margaret Ellis Jewelry beaded necklace. A beautiful string of shapes and shimmer in black, white and grey, this was a holiday gift that I will wear often. It's  not the only piece I received for Christmas, so you can expect to see more stunning creations designed by McLaine Richardson - who owns Margaret Ellis Jewelry - in the future.

I'll bet you thought my "shades of grey" title was a click-bait reference to fetishism. 

Well, sort of. It's not meant to deceive. What I'm about to tell you really happened.

Many women - and men - with disabilities contact me to ask questions or comment on what I do to change perceptions about people with disabilities. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage on their part to ask, so I do my best to answer all of  my messages. I never assume the person I'm speaking to has deleterious intentions - but, of course, some do. The conversation you see below is a real DM thread from my Instagram account. Expletives have been censored and I redacted the other person's name because he is beyond shaming. 


This isn't a conversation as much as an interview by a wheelchair fetishist. If you've never heard of a wheelchair fetishist before let me enlighten you. Wikipedia states that, "Abasiophilia is a psychosexual attraction to people with impaired mobility, especially those who use orthopaedic appliances such as leg braces, orthopedic casts, or wheelchairs." The most common attractions for Abasiophiliacs are to amputees or paralyzed wheelchair users.

So the first two questions, which on their own are fine, become creepier and predatory when paired with the inquisition about age. This goes far beyond wheelchair fetish into the realm of impropriety that seems to be seen as acceptable by the deplorable losers that use these same lines on women via social media. In fact, my friend Hasty Dawn Words wrote a post this week about the unsolicited pics of men's junk they seem compelled to share with her.

Most women are confounded by these tactics. The trolling interviews and d**k pics are so insipid; so sophomoric. Do these guys ever get anywhere with a woman using the same tired lines and DIY porn shots?

Sadly, sometimes they do - and that's a problem.  There are women that respond to cyber-sexual interviews and horny porny photos to try to scam Mr Right Now. They're all over Instagram. They have 6 bikini-clad posts that lead to escort or sex-cam services. There are women out there - able-bodied women - who are more than willing to pose at the foot of a staircase next to an overturned wheelchair to turn on a fetishist for a look or a buck. 

Please don't think that I'm suggesting men are devoid of any responsibility for their bad behavior; I'm not. But it is fair to say that they are getting enough mixed signals from women collectively that some of them find it acceptable to objectify us individually.

As far as this guy goes, if he says another word to me I'm telling his Mother. I've found him on other social media sites so I already know who she is. 

Nashville Fashion Week posts start next time; pinky promise.

Linking with Visible Monday , Creative Mondays, Monday Musings, I Will Wear What I Like, Monday Mingle